happier than ever?

sure.

a question I get fairly often is some version of “how are you so happy/how do you stay happy/how do you find happiness?”

I’ve always considered myself a depressed person. Not in a negative way, but just acknowledging my base line is sad, it’s where I am working from. Understanding my natural disposition and accepting it has been essential in finding happiness as well as contentedness and my personal power.

I think we often see folks online with this “perfect” happy lives and routines and try to emulate what they are doing. The 5am start, the meditation, the reading, the tons of water, the 10,000 steps, the perfect skincare, the journaling, the think happy grateful thoughts. All good things. I just think good things are relative and need to be treated with flexibility and not rigidity. The same beneficial things may not work the same way for everyone.

For a long time I tried to push myself into patterns and habits that we never suited for me. This caused me even more frustration, guilt, shame, and self loathing. Once I started accepting myself-all of myself, even the parts I would rather change, I was able to find habits, routines, actions, practices etc that worked for me and were beneficial and being able to find success in my endeavors greatly increased my overall “happiness”.

Happy isn’t something I strive for. I work for content for neutral and when other emotions arrive I allow them in and out. I celebrate them, I acknowledge them, I sometimes allow myself to bear witness. being human is strange. self awareness can be a blessing and a curse. Too much self-awareness can pull us from presence-if we are always watching and observing the breath in practice are we really present with it or are we present next to it? I don’t know. But I try to practice both things. We are a balancing act, and an impressive one at that. Sometimes just walking around I look at people and just think “wow, I know they are dealing with a lot right now and look at them go!” cause like we are all dealing with a lot right now ya know?

So how do I actually find happiness?

• I am easy on myself

• I have worked for years and continue to work on releasing expectations

• I quote the movie musical “A Chorus Line”- “remember this emotion” (I chat more about this in the video below

• I remind myself that all emotions are fleeting and impermanent. Happiness comes and goes, as does sadness. So whatever I’m feeling is allowed and welcome, as it’s really just a visitor.

Today is am emotional day for me, and I am a verbal processor, so I’ve included a little “FaceTime call” verbalizing some things you’ve read and talking more specifically about this day, the context, and how I allowing myself to be.

be well. until next time.

rey